Do we grow up developing so many ME... and if yes...WHY?
I've always been more of a loner but in the same time addicted to the ones I love, trying to do everything I can so they can be pleased, many times letting go of things I want so they can be happy... i really have no idea where this comes from and sometimes it's annoying, creates frustrations in time... I am a stuborn person, sometimes selfish when it comes to the time I spend with myself but in rest I think I am more of a giver, submissive one even... but also bossy when I am in the mood! I have moments when I just want to be out there, centre of attention, always ging out and having fun...but then there are times when I just feel like I want to be just by myself, invisible to others, left alone in my own world, not counting for anyone... is this multiple personality or is just the way we all are?
Right now I know there is someone out there that needs me, wants me around and I feel like I have to be there, to help even if it's with good words. Someone I deeply care about and love, someone that is there for me trying so hard to open my closed eyes, trying to see what is real and what is just my crazy desire of things being the way I want!
She is the brainy one when it comes to these matters but sometimes I just love dreaming, sometimes I am more of a masochist, wanting that consuming, can't-live-without-it, breath taking love! Maybe this is the way I am, maybe my big ego comes up when it's not the right time, maybe I am sometimes bad with the ones that don't deserve it...but... this is the real me and I love the real her!
I love daydreaming about the perfect relationship, about the struggle of making it perfect, about the tears that come before the laughter... i love treasuring the perfect little moments without thining of the price I have to pay for them! Happyiness counts more than the pain that comes with it... one has to work hard to get what he/she wants...and if I have to fight for what I want than be it! If I have to wait for what I dream of...be it! I'll just wait and do my things, live my life till than.
foto: aywi
We are all strong when it comes to certain things and unbelieveble weak when it comes to others...we all have strong and weak parts of our own...but maybe that's why friendship was invented in the first place! So we can have that balance in our lives, the balance we can't live without! So we can afford to be weak, to cry and let go when the time comes, so we can have a shoulder to cry on but also to have that certain someone that laughs with you when you want to scream out loud your happyness.
The most important thing in life is your family. There are days you love them, and others you don't. But, in the end, they're the people you always come home to. Sometimes it's the family you're born into and sometimes it's the one you make for yourself. Coming here made me make my own family... a really small one but the best I can have! Who cares if sometimes things don't work out, who cares if from time to time depression knoks so bad at out door, who cares if sometimes you feel like your world is tearing apart? The only thing you have to care about is your own little family! you just have to care about the fact that there will always be someone out there to lift you up, to make you see the light at the end of the tunnel, to make you smile even if tears are coming out of your eyes like a fountain. That is the most important thing in life! You lost your job, broke up with someone and it hurts like never before, have to plan a surgery that your life depends on? No matter what or how long it takes to heal you'll never get through it without your friends!
I treasure them even when I can't be there for them, even when I feel they are mean because I know that their intentions are good so if it hurts it's for a good cause.
This are the facts... sometimes we just want to be only with ourselves, to think, analyse, do what we feel like doing, sometimes there is the other ME that wants to just do all I can to make my friends happy, sometimes is the ME that wants to be with the one I love and that's about it.... we all have a few different ME to deal with... and maybe yes, we all grow up developing multiple personalities but in the end it's just the way we are and it's good to know that we can always count on someone that understands the loner ME, the selfish me, the giver me and all the MEs we are....
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